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A young boy named Darren Shan meets a mysterious man at a freak show who turns out to be a Vampire. After a series of events Darren must leave his normal life and go on the road with the Cirque Du Freak and become a Vampire.

Beautiful Carmen Colson and her ironworker husband Wayne are placed in the Federal Witness Protection program after witnessing an extortion scheme go wrong. Thinking they are at last safe, they are targeted by an experienced intimidating hit man and a psychopathic young upstart killer. The ensuing struggle will test Carmen to the limit.

Peter Burton and Tim Garrity both meet when they go to law school. Tim comes from an affluent family, while Peter comes from the working class, which he is a bit ashamed of. Tim’s a noble person who wants to do what is right, while Peter’s willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead. And that includes blackmail and intimidation. And when his latest scheme burns Tim, Tim decides to find out if Peter deliberately betrayed him or if the man he works, John Palmeri made him do it and if so to make them answer for it.

We watch the Onion News, America’s Finest News Source, with Dana Dobbs, Senior Correspondent Kip Kendall, and award-winning anchor Norm Archer. In addition to watching the news, we see the program’s commercials, some commentary on the film as it proceeds, and we watch some terrorists in training. Behind the scenes, Onion News’s corporate owner, Global Tetrahedron, seeks synergy by promoting its other products within Norm’s news broadcast. Norm doesn’t like it, especially when a toy penguin (think Energizer Bunny) waddles across his desk promoting a Global Tetrahedron film starring Steven Seagal. But Norm may end up needing Steven’s help.

A helicopter pilot survives a near-fatal accident and returns to his home – to find that he’s been replaced by an exact duplicate of himself, a clone. When the clone’s creators find out the pilot didn’t die in the crash, the hunt is on.

Capitalizing on his fame as the star of “Hogan’s Heroes,” Bob Crane (Greg Kinnear) dove into the freewheeling spirit of the 60s and 70s with relish, having affairs with numerous women. Eventually, Crane teamed up with video technician John Carpenter to document his exploits, an association that may very well have led to his murder in a Scottsdale, Arizona motel room in 1978, which remains officially unsolved to this day.

Barry Egan (Adam Sandler) is a small business owner with seven sisters whose abuse has kept him alone and unable to fall in love. When a harmonium and a mysterious woman (Emily Watson) enter his life, his romantic journey begins.